No Rules

In this game, there are no rules. These things we follow are merely suggestions. Suggested by someone who can't stand a lack of power and order.
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And so, it is with the greatest pleasure that I announce "Tawr".

Confessions

Tonight, it's all out in the open. 3 Words; 8 Letters...
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Confession number one: I think about you every minute of every day.

Confession number two: I wish you were next to me all the time.

Confession number three: I'm obsessed with you.

Confession number four: I love the way I can talk to you about anything.

Confession number five: I hate that you're so far away from me.

Confession number six: My heart beats faster when I think of you.

Confession number seven: I can't keep the smile off of my heart when I talk to you.

Confession number eight: I'm jealous of the people you're with, because they get to touch and feel, and see you...

Confession number nine: I'm scared. No. I'm terrified.

Confession number ten: I love you too...

I wasn't sure if I'd be able to admit this right now, but I did. And I'm glad that I said all this. I'm not sure if I know what I'm doing... I'm just winging it right now. So, I jumped. Now, I'm falling. And I'm trusting that you'll catch me.

Confession

And The Days Zoom By

Day 1 : March in lines, learn the music, listen to the trumpets scream

Day 2 : March in blocks, learn to trust each other, listen to the drums beat

Day 3 : March around the field, learn to perfect, listen to the band play together

Day 4 : March in form, learn to stay in step, listen as it gets harder

Day 5 : March for the crowd, learn to stay calm, listen as the crowd roars

Lost

And so if love is the answer, what was the question?

Redirection

I made a sandwich, because I'm hungry. I'm eating my sandwich, because it tastes good.
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I'm not really sure what's on my mind right now. My best friend is leaving for North Carolina tomorrow morning, and I'm gonna miss her bunches.

Last night was awesome. I had a different best friend stay the night, and it was fun. We called some people, and talked to those people for hours. :D I'm glad last night happened.

I've been making little dragon guys out of play-doh recently... They're so cute. My favorite is black and blue, and tiny, and I love him. I'm giving him to one of my best friends.

I have a LOT of best friends. They're all so great, and the best in their own unique way. I love them to death.

I'm going to redirect my thoughts now, and watch a movie. I'm not sure which one just yet, but I'll find something. Preferably something with magic, adventure, and romance. *shrugs* Those are the best kind. In my opinion.

Have a great night. Peace.

If I Could Say What I Wanted to Say, This is What You Would Hear

Dear Someone,

I'm sick of you and your self righteous attitude. You always have to be right, and you can't accept when you're wrong... It's annoying as hell, and I still have a bruise from the last time you were wrong.

You strive too hard to be different. You close yourself off to anything new someone suggests to you because somebody else already likes it. It's pathetic. Someone is bound to have something in common with you--get over it.

You wonder why no one likes you? It's because you're mean and heartless. And honestly, I don't blame them. I envy them of their distance from you.

Also, you have no respect for anyones opinion but your own. Just because you feel differently doesn't mean your opinion is better. It means you're different. Which is exactly what you wanted. Right?

You're a hypocrite. You go on and on and on about how much you love God, and what a good person you try to be. Then, you turn around and lie, instead of facing the consequences, like any REAL Christian would do. And then you think you can just say "sorry" and ask for forgiveness. Sorry only works so many times, sweety, and only if there's a change in behavior.

The only reason I've hung around for so long is because my mom made me. Trust me honey, I didn't enjoy ONE minute of it.

I'm not sorry if I hurt your feelings. It wasn't my intention, but these words had to be said. I mean, no one else was going to do it.

I realize that I'm not entirely innocent myself. I don't claim to be. But at least I have the decency to acknowledge that I'm wrong. I have enough self-respect to keep from lying.

And, if I thought you were capable of a permanent change, I wouldn't burn this bridge... But I'm not stupid, like you believe. The most I could ever expect from you was a string of apologies, and a temporary spout of kindness for little less than a month. Then you would return to your cold, heartless ways. I know, because you've done it to me before.

So, I'm done. I'm done with pretending I give a damn about what you think of my opinions. They're MY opinions, and nothing you say will change them.

I'm done with allowing you to work my self esteem down, and being degraded and walked on by you daily.

I'm done with your backstabbing, and all the pain and grief you've caused me. But most importantly, I'm done with you.

*Sorry mom. This is one bridge I HAVE to burn. I'll keep the ashes, if you'd like. But no one is crossing it again.

Me; Definition: Unfortunate

I sometimes hate how you make me feel so self-conscious. I know, for a fact, that you don't mean to. But you're just so... You.

I never hear you complain; yet, I complain to you all the time.
I complain about my mom, my house (it doesn't qualify for a home), I complain about the heat, my cramps, the girl I'm supposed to be friends with. And you just listen to me... To it all! And you never tell me about you're problems, even when I ask.

I feel selfish, but you assure me that I'm fine.

And sometimes you make me feel like I'm just an ignorant girl with your large words and just the way you talk to me sometimes...

You also make me feel like everything is perfect when I'm talking with you... It's... Easy, and natural.

But we talk about me soo much, and for once, I want to forget about my misfortunes, and focus on the fact that I'm not alone...

Please... Just... Let me in.

You Dropped Your Pocket

Olives...
It's our personal inside joke,, :)

Olives...
Because we both know its true,, <3

Olives...
I just wish it was real... *

Um....

I wish I could remember the name of that movie...

In a Land Far Away

The world inhales and I can't breathe. There's no air, no wind, no life. The world exhales, returning the air, the wind, and the life. It's safe to breathe once more.
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I can't fathom what it feels like to be happy where I'm at. I don't want to stay here, but I can't walk away.

In a far away land next door, I see the freedom bestowed upon other people. I'm so close, but not close enough. I see it, I really truly do. But I don't have the power to touch it, to breathe it in...

In a far away land next door, I wish I was there...

Ready, Go

Ready, go

Birds

Planes

Stars

Night

The dark

Fish

Water

Sand

War

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Our thoughts are a vicious disease. It's contagious, dangerous, lovely, intriguing, outrageous.

Tell me of your disease, and I'll spread it along...

Lost in an Ocean of Emotion

Take a peek at the stars as you float on your back, struggling for every breath you take. Just like the ship, you're taking on water and sinking, your heart breaking as it becomes too much.

But fight to survive, because you promised. You promised you would live and make him proud, even if it felt like you couldn't go on.

Salty tears and salty ocean water stain your pale, frozen cheeks; and you continue to stare off into the distance, praying that everything will be okay.

Just as you begin to lose all hope, a light shines near by. You wonder if you're dead, and you strive to pinch yourself to make sure. But you're alive--only just, but it doesn't matter.

You try to call for help, but your voice won't work. They see only your frozen and unmoving face staring up at them widely, but they hear nothing to prove you're alive.

They begin to move on. You look at his face, but there's no one there; just an empty cold shell resembling the someone you loved. "Never let go..."

She let go of his hand, and he sunk to the floor of the ocean. She didn't need to try not to cry; she had no energy for such things.

She pushed herself into the frigid waters, and flailed her arms and legs. She was swimming. She maneuvered her way to a man with a whistle.

She looked back at the boat and tried to call out once more. Nothing...

She put the whistle in her mouth.
She blew.
Nothing.
She blew again. A whisper of a loud shrill call.

Again she blew the whistle, and it screamed a piercing yell. The men in the boat looked back and shined the light on her once more.

She blew again, and the boat turned around, making its way to her.

It was almost there, and she kept blowing the whistle. It sounded like a metallic child crying.

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Days later, she came to... Wondering what had happened and where she was. But it didn't take long for her memory to return. She remembered the ship sinking, the man holding her hand. She remembered her promise to survive, and she remembered looking into his pale dead face and letting him sink.

This time, she cried.

Even though she was on dry, unmoving land, she found herself lost in the ocean again, with no one to save her this time.

She let go...

Find Me Tonight

Join me tonight in a silent vigilance. Guard the night and bless the stars. With every passing second, dedicate your thoughts to me. Remember that you are my sun when the skies are gray. You keep me warm whilst the snow drifts lazily and blankets the Earth.
Remember that I'm waiting for you. Remember that you're the one that makes everything seem okay, even if it's not.

Just remember that I love you, and please... Come find me tonight.

Right Now

And this is the precise moment in which I wish for your embrace.

Unleash My Soul

The world spins around me, disorienting me. I can't see straight. I can't finish my thoughts. This feeling is more than a little unnerving, and my blood races confusion to various parts of my body.

My walls are breaking, crumbling to the ground. There's so many thoughts to think, too many to focus on. My head hurts, the very act of trying is beginning to grow tiresome.

I feel faint, like I'm fading away into a cluttered background.

There's just too much.

I need to let it out.

Good Morning

It's 5:30 A.M. Below me, someone stirs. I hear the alarm clock go off, footsteps on the floor. I can hear the dryer open and close, then the shower turn on and shortly after, back off. 5:45 now. The microwave beeps, and I know that she made herself some breakfast. Foot steps echo off the stair well walls, the boards creek, and mom comes in to say bye. 5:47 now. Downstairs, the door opens and closes, squeaking madly.

Silence then. But I can't fall back asleep, and if I do, it's merely a light, uneasy slumber.

Open my eyes. 6:30 A.M. now. Stare at the ceiling of my disaster of a room. Sigh. Turn over and snuggle close to the wall. Close my eyes. Nothing. Angrily, I sit up and try laying at the foot of my bed.

Again, a light and uneasy sleep. I feel like I'm falling and start awake. Check my phone. 7:45 A.M. now.

No new text messages. I sigh, wondering what time is acceptable to wake you up.

I wait a bit longer, staring up at my ceiling. 8:32 A.M. I text you, saying "Good morning."

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